zen-jewitch

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Ok so yes. It really did take me this long to settle my feelings long enough to be able to sit down and write this from the heart. It took my heart a while to cool down so it didn't just overheat and break itself right apart. Tomorrow will be a week since the election. Where my heart almost broke.Ok so why had I let myself get so upset over this election. I really felt like my heart had failed. No, I felt like the candidates had failed. Like they had forgotten about me, so caught up in wanting to be the one, that they had failed me completely. And that I had failed others, telling them to BELIEVE, to GET OUT AND VOTE, that THEIR VOTE MATTERS and that THEIR VOTE WILL COUNT! I felt I owed them an apology. And I never felt so much of a minority, an outsider, a mere spectator as I watched my world get turned upside down. I mean, had I not just spent the whole morning calling people in Florida, reminding them to vote? Had I not just spent the whole morning in line feeling proud, voting in my new neighborhood, surrounded by beautiful black people early on the gorgeous morning, waiting to cast their votes, waiting to make a difference? How will I ever convince them to come with me again? How will I ever convince myself to go through this again??Recent days show the Democratic Party "licking their wounds" according to the news, considering whether they should move to be more conservative to bring voters back to the party. Ok, the last thing this country needs is more conservatives! I am in many ways a very traditional person. And ok dude, I have friggin' values! And I voted for KERRY! How dare you diss me for not having "values". What ever happened to separation between church and state? Misguided beliefs about Christianity have also been used to justify slavery, the Holocaust, and the Crusades. As a Christian, I am very offended that this group of "values" voters is allowing the killing of thousands of Iraqis and Americans in an unjust war... just so long as those gays don't get married! What ever happened to tolerance! Cause I dunno, they preached that in my church. And since when have basic civil rights ever been such "radical" issues! What is happening to our country?!Democrats, no need to lick any wounds. Half the country was with you! Half! Don't be fooled by the red states/blue states maps... Check these out...Evidence:This is the Presidential vote displayed by population density not electoral votes.Slave MentalityElection by IQTo bask in our defeat is useless. Hey Mr. President, did you know that even though more voters than ever voted for you, more than ever voted against you? You have a responsibility to us. To me. I didnt vote for your dumb ass, but I voted. And by doing so, told you what issues I too am interested in. And so did millions of people like me. In numbers:9/10 black voters voted for Kerry. They made up 20% of his total vote. Youth turnout was the highest since 1972. It was up to 51.6% from 42% in 2000more than 4.6 million more young people got out and voted.Non-white women went 75% for Kerry. More stats: http://us.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.htmlSo why, why, why are we crying. Well. Mr. Kerry, I did want to cry when you conceded. I felt you owed us something. I got a call back from my best friend November 3rd, after I had left her a message saying, I dont want to tell you who to vote for, but girl, kerry yourself to the polls! And she responded, well, I did, and I guess it doesnt matter. Even my mom had been energized by me, I think for her I had no answers. Just as our system had no answers for Americans like me. When are we gonna see the end of the electoral college? When are we going to see every vote counted? When will see political campaigns not focused on slander and manipulation and lies? (Ok so that last one may be asking too much.) But please, reform the system. Talk about my issues. I have been faithful to you; I have put my trust in America. Why do you ignore me? Treat me like a second-citizen? On November 3rd I never felt more black, more liberal, more of a woman, more of a gay lover, more of a citizen for change... they made us feel like that was wrong. I want to feel like a part of my country again. For those of you who voted differently, I understand. It makes perfect sense for some people to support the other candidate. Please just remember not to disregard other people's issues and feelings in the process. My friends, do not be discouraged. We worked hard. Unfortunately it seems we are still a minority. But there has been progress. We must just get back to work. More articles:http://blog.rockthevote.com/http://www.blackcommentator.com/112/112_cover_election.htmlhttp://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/08/opinion/08herbert.html?hp&oref=regihttp://www.nytimes.com/2004/11/03/politics/campaign/03blacks.html